Feeling Old in Your 30's (3 August 2015)

For the first time in my life I actually felt old!  Now I’m only in my 30’s, my early 30’s at that but things just don’t seem to be the way they used to be.

I was out at the weekend with a friend of mine and the lovely bar that we wanted to go to ended up being closed.  So we decided to partake on a bit of a pub crawl.  The first bar we ended up in was full of what we automatically called ‘kids’.  They were about 18-20 and were all half naked, even when I was that age I put some clothes on when I went out, especially in this freezing country.  It was like being in a school playground with all the wee girls running about and screaming or when a friend of theirs walked in we could hear the high pitched screeches of them greeting their friends.  Does your head right in!

Apart from the girly noise their cocktails were pretty minging so we decided to walk to the next ‘decent’ pub.  The walk seemed like it took forever and when we got there the wee guy taking the admission money was about 15.  When we got in there were no seats to be found so we took a bottle of wine to the dance floor and hung about there.  Our poor feet were getting sore already.

Watching people dancing was hilarious, both young and old people were up having a strut and busting some dodgy moves.  There was one very pretty little girl up dancing but it looked like she learnt her moves in a strip club, a pretty girl like her did not need to be dancing like that to get male attention.

There were the usual ‘old’ men hanging round the bar ready to stalk anyone that would make eye contact, never make eye contact HAHA.  Finally we got a seat so we decided to drink and drink and drink.  We can only get up to dance once we are plastered so that was our mission for the night, to get up and show the young ones how to do it. 

Either the drink was very weak or I ended up so drunk that I didn’t even taste it cos we drank quite a bit and quite fast but didn’t seem to get much drunker....We decided to make a move to the dance floor and my friend didn’t look convinced that we should be going up yet.  Apparently I told her that we could ‘move up there slowly’.

A few guys looked like they were something out of trainspotting the way they were dancing; some dodgy 90’s rave moves were being busted.  We danced away with the best of them, to be fair I think we did it better than most of them....well that’s the story we are sticking to.  I was glad to get home to be big monster dog and get my pj’s on and sat with another glass of wine until I passed out cold on the sofa.

Drunken 'Factual' Conversations (27 July 2015)

On Saturday night I overheard one of my friends having a drunken conversation.  Coming from the country that I do it is commonly known for its divide due to religion.  Well anyway, within my group of friends there are different mixes of religions as we don’t care about all that nonsense so we can comment on all of our religions without any of us getting offended.

Now my friend that said this next comment says the stupidest stuff when she’s drunk and it’s always about odd things.  Her statement was that one religion had different eyes than the other.  Seriously? Where the hell did that come from?  We are all Caucasian.  How can we have different eyes? HAHA.  The shit you hear come out of some people’s mouths.

One of the last times we got together she told us a story about a guys that told her all about babies and how the gender of them is determined.  Well, to cut a long story short it ended up being that he said that only ‘real’ men could produce girls.  You do end up thinking that some people convince themselves that all this stuff is true just cos they heard it from someone that knows someone that knew someone that knows these as ‘facts’.

Hangovers in your 30s (26 July 2015)

This morning (I mean 10.40am) I woke up after getting home at 2.30am from a night of drinking at my friends house.

A great night was had, plenty of booze was consumed and I felt the effects of it this morning.  Now a hangover in your 30s is not like a hangover in your 20s. In your 20s you get up about half an hour later than normal and feel like you could get up and do it all again. Some freaky voodoo magic happens once you turn 30 and that hour of sleeping in turns into needing until at least lunch time to be able to function normally again. You wake up and it actually tastes like you have ate shit,  even if your like me and brush your teeth before bed no matter how drunk you are.

Sometimes you even wake up feeling great and think you have escaped the hangover,  this is just to lead you into a false senses of security because the moment you want to go out and do something that's when the hangover begins.  This is usually around lunchtime and will determine whether your gonna be sick or not.

Every time you wake up with one of these Hangovers you curse yourself and swear that your not drinking ever again..even if your friend asks you the next day if you want to go out at the weekend you say no!  But if she asks you two days later then somehow you have forgotten about your hangover and weekend plans are made and it goes round in one big vicious circle.

We are strange creatures in a way. We seem to enjoy pleasure pain.

Fucking Fence!!, Travel, Farts, Mums, Movies & Booze

15th July 2015

11.15am

Back to work after four days off..depression will slowly start to begin to sink in.  I was supposed to write a lot of things down while I was off but I forgot because drinking got in the way :)

One shall try ones best to recap what happened.

10th July 2015

Evening

I got home and the weather was decent so back to the fence painting I went.  20 friggin minutes in and the heavens opened, but I hadn't finished the panel I had started so I stayed there until I did (cos I'm such a prick).

11th July 2015 

The sun was shining so I got out the old paintbrush again and tackled the fence.  I got one side of the garden done but then we were heading away for the weekend to the in-laws holiday cottage.

5.30pm

We were about 30 minutes into our car journey when I got a whiff of what I thought smelled like a sewer.  So I said to my hubby "OMG do you smell that? Its rotten!"  When I turned to look at him he was just sitting there laughing, so proud of himself.  "It doesn't smell bad, does it?" he asked.  "Smells like shite" I told him but he was still finding this hysterical.  Men are friggin weird.

The drive is about two hours of endless road but we eventually got there.  We unpacked our things and took our dog and the in-laws dog for a walk.  This was their first time meeting, it went great.

We sat with the in-laws for the next 5-6 hours drinking, for too much as usual.  We didn't get out of bed the next morning until near 11am.

12th July 2015

Got up and had breakfast after getting a bit of fresh air.  The hubby felt so hungover that he went back to bed without eating.  Once I had my breakfast I joined him cos I wasn't gonna turn down the opportunity to take a nap.  We didn't get out of bed until 2pm.

We went out to start tackling the garden (after the trouble I'm having getting my own finished the last thing I wanted to do was garden).  We didn't get too far before the strimmer broke and he had to head to the next town to get a new part from the hardware shop.  By the end of the day we got the front garden finished, which doesn't sound like much but if you seen the state of it even you would be proud.

Got dinner and started drinking again, what else are holidays for? Didn't last quite as long as the night before but it was still a good laugh.  My mother in law faded on the sofa early as usual then took herself off to bed.  Me and the hubby were the last ones up until I passed out with tiredness.  Time for bed!

13th July

Got up, lay about the house for a bit, ate, packed our bags and then started off for home.  We got about 3 miles down the road before we stopped and took the dog out for a few miles and then on our way again.  By the time we got near home the band parade for the holidays was taking up the whole main road, needless to say we were stuck in traffic for a while.

When we got home we were looking forward to a quiet night in front of the TV but ended up drinking as well. We watched Ted 2, it was very funny, you just have to love that bear.

14th July 2015

Start the day with a sausage soda with fried onions...yum friggin yum!!! 

Had to go do the dreaded grocery shopping and needed some stuff for the garden.  Im looking forward to winter so I don't have to go near my garden, frig it will be winter before I get it finished at this rate.

The hubby did some stuff to the garden when we got home while I tried to hoover out my car boot since the huge white monster that is our dog seem to shed every hair he had while he was in there yesterday, it looked like someone had murdered a sheep.

This hard work didn't last long before we decided to bugger off to the cinema to see the new Terminator movie.  Cheesy but quite entertaining.

Came home with great intentions of finishing cleaning the boot of the car but instad I'm just driving around with the hoover in the boot.

Think that all the catch up we need.  So back to today.....

15th July 2015

3.58pm

So far its shit.  The car park is half empty cos everyone is off on holidays.  Roll on 5pm til I get my ass home.

4.23pm

My mum rang  me earlier to ask if I would pop over some night to do some stuff for my dad.  I told her I would be over that way on Friday cos I'm off work and I had an appointment over near her house.  I told her I would be short for time cos I had plans.

The moment those words passed my lips I knew what was coming.  Mums do not have the ability to resist investigating your life outside your relationship with them.  So I brand her nuts!
"What's your plans?" she asked
"I'm just meeting up with a friend"
"What friend?"
"No one you know mum"
"What friend is it?"
"Mum, you don't know them so there's no point even telling you" (I knew this would be driving her mad and of course mum being mum this was not a hint for her to give up.  In face she tried the guessing game next)
"Is it that friend that owns the shop?"
"No mum it isn't"
"I think it is, I'm going to go down there and introduce myself to her"
"Go ahead mum, knock youself out"
This was probably the highlight of her day.  Some of my friends refer to her as a detective or FBI cos she grills everyone until she has information she can collect and pass on.

Turns out my friend cant even make it on Friday as she has to go to a funeral.

8.59pm

I was heading home from a walk with the dog when I seen an aul doll wearing a bright orange skirt, not that I don't mind retro colours, but you could clearly see right though it and notice that she was wearing a thong.  It's not what I wanted to see anyway, especially not on an aul person.  My evening was disturbed from that moment.