Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Friday, 25 September 2015

Raising Your Husband


Before I kick off, which I will once I get carried away, I must emphasise that I am not a man hater.  I love men, I prefer their company, I’m very much a guy’s girl due to being raised a bit of a tom boy but..........living with one can be hardy friggin’ work!

 

For all of those women out there who have sons please pay special attention to this because for some of you the root of this problem lies with you.



 

I have been married just over a year but I have lived with my hubby for 6 years so I knew what I was getting into when I decided to commit to this relationship.  I might have had a few drinks in me and I was in Amsterdam (I will say no more) when I said yes to his proposal but I said yes all the same.  Don’t get me wrong I do love my husband but sometimes, just sometimes smothering him with a pillow for a little while would bring me great satisfaction.  I have no doubt in my mind he would love to do the same to me sometimes, that’s how marriage works!

 

From the times growing up and watching how life worked about the house many things have changed since then.  I was born in the early 80’s and grew up in the 90’s.  My dad went off to work every day and my mum stayed at home like the dutiful housewife but she was no soft touch with my dad, if he annoyed her or took advantage she let him have it.  My dad didn’t do much of the housework since he was working all day but he cooked at the weekends and he walked the dogs so that was fair enough.  My mum always brought me up to never be a maid for a man and to make sure all of the work in the house was divided.

 

Life in my home now is quite different.  We both work full time, the same hours I may add but for some reason men of my hubby’s age seem to think that life owes them something.  Even though I work the same hours he still thinks I should do all the cleaning, cooking, washing and look after our dog (we only had 1 at the time).  The day he said that was the biggest mistake of his life.

 

After some time I got him into the way of housework, I don’t expect cleaning to a show home standard or anything but I do like things to be more or less tidy but I can happily live with a little mess.  This actually lasted just over 2 years but then we bought a house together and the housework began to dwindle.  He gradually did less and less but as soon as I noticed that’s when I began to do less and less for him.  I let his side of the bedroom get messy, his washing piled up and there was never anything around the house that he wanted.  I went on strike for more than 3 years and he learned his lesson and began to tidy.  Yes 3 years is a long time but he’s an adult and should be doing it for himself anyway.  You’re wondering how I kept it up for 3 years, I’m very stubborn and if I want to get my own way then I can be very patient.

 

I told the ladies in work what I was doing and all I got was sympathy for him. 

“Awe the poor guy”

“You’re very hard on him”

“That’s awful; my hubby would never do any house work”

Etc etc

 

Am I the only one that sees something exceptionally wrong with this picture?  How about we turn the tables.  What does he do for me?  Does he do the DIY? No.  Does he cut the grass? Very seldom.  Does he cook? Rarely.  Does he wash my car? Maybe once a year even though he promised to do it every weekend.  Why should I even do a single thing for him if he’s not prepared to do anything for me?

 

Since when do we look after men like they are children?  Are they not adults? Are they not capable of looking after themselves?  Are they so needy and useless?  No, they are just lazy and if someone will do all your work for you then why bother? 

 

I completely blame his mum and she accepts the blame too.  She did everything for him growing up and when he wouldn’t do something for her she told him not to worry and she would do it.  He never lifted a finger around the house.  He pretty much got lifted and laid.  Now I have to live with a lazy git that thinks women should be doing it all for him.

 

I am no domestic goddess and the thought of housework or being a housewife would depress the life out of me.  I like having a career, I like being out and about but a lot of men don’t like women having independence.  I never understand the woman that live like this and are unhappy with it.  Some women love it and that’s the way they want their life to be and fair play to them but it’s not for me.

 

Boys should be educated early in life in how to pick up after themselves and how to help out round the house.  My hubby is almost 30 and still can’t wash a butter knife after he uses it; he leaves the buttery knife on the worktop with all the crumbs from the bread.  He even got his mum to buy him a dishwasher one Christmas because he doesn’t like to do dishes.  He leaves socks lying about the house, there is a trail of clothes upstairs when he’s going for a shower, he can’t put his clothes in the wash basket but he can get pretty close, but the one thing that drives me bonkers is that he is unable to change a loo roll!!

 

I could go on and on bringing up house bills, mortgages, personal appointments but the list would be endless.  Who needs kids when you have a husband to raise?  Men seem to be incapable of doing most things these days due to laziness and it’s quite sad to see. 

 

Didn’t they use to be the ‘superior’ sex???

 

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Nothing is Forever (4 August 2015)


I’m going to talk about marriage.  Now this is going to sound like a huge contradiction but I totally believe in my views.


I’m married, I haven’t been married very long but all the same I did it.  Now, I have never been fussed on marriage and I never seen the point in it.  My hubby is quite traditional and really wanted to get married so for a long time before he proposed we discussed and discussed it.  Marriage means something to him and meant nothing to me so he put forward the argument of ‘if it didn’t matter to me then what harm could it do?’ so I give in and did it.

I didn’t want a big wedding; in fact I wanted it to just be me and him.  Of course he wanted to do it the traditional way so I just give in to that too (don’t worry I’m no soft touch, it just didn’t really matter). 

Anyway, my whole point of this is what is the point in marriage?  I realised a long time ago that nothing is forever.  Don’t get me wrong I love my hubby but I was also with the wrong person for a very long time before him too.  At that point in my life that person was the right person for me at that time.  Just like now my hubby is the right person for me now.


Will he still be right for me in 10 years time? Who knows? I hope so but as you change with age you just never know what is coming.  I would obviously be upset if we broke up but if it’s the right thing to do you just have to do it.  I would rather be on my own and happy than be with someone that makes me miserable.  You obviously do all you can to mend a relationship but something’s in life just cant be fixed no matter how hard you try.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just life.