Backstabbing & Endearing Curse Words

It’s terrible that this day in age it’s hard to find people that you can trust.  Working in an office environment you can see so easily how conversations turn into Chinese whispers and the backstabbing commences.  I never understood the whole backstabbing attraction; just have the balls to tell someone what you think instead of being a chicken shit and telling someone else about it.  I would rather someone be honest with me to my face and hurt my feelings rather than tell everyone else about it and me be none the wiser. 

 

I normally see this type of behaviour in girls and it forms ‘clicks’ which is pretty pathetic.  I’m sure backstabbing is going on behind my back and I really don’t care if it is or not, it doesn’t phase me in the slightest because if they are talking about me then they are leaving some other poor sap alone.  I try to stand up for people I see it happening to and if see someone trying to subtly pick on them and I see them struggling then I just stand up and say back off or stop them with a sarcastic remark.  More than likely I just tell them to shut the fuck up.

 

A friend sent me an image (below) last week that got me thinking about this and I think it’s true.

 

 

 

 

 

Now we don’t sit and curse all day but when we do we make it fun and come off with the most childish things to say to put the day in.  I do find that the more people curse within their conversations with me are the people I trust the most in my life.  My poor friends get some sarcastic abuse from me but it’s the way we are with each other.  I don’t know if it’s a Northern Irish thing or what it is.  Does everyone else do this?

Raising Your Husband

Before I kick off, which I will once I get carried away, I must emphasise that I am not a man hater.  I love men, I prefer their company, I’m very much a guy’s girl due to being raised a bit of a tom boy but..........living with one can be hardy friggin’ work!

 

For all of those women out there who have sons please pay special attention to this because for some of you the root of this problem lies with you.

 

I have been married just over a year but I have lived with my hubby for 6 years so I knew what I was getting into when I decided to commit to this relationship.  I might have had a few drinks in me and I was in Amsterdam (I will say no more) when I said yes to his proposal but I said yes all the same.  Don’t get me wrong I do love my husband but sometimes, just sometimes smothering him with a pillow for a little while would bring me great satisfaction.  I have no doubt in my mind he would love to do the same to me sometimes, that’s how marriage works!

 

From the times growing up and watching how life worked about the house many things have changed since then.  I was born in the early 80’s and grew up in the 90’s.  My dad went off to work every day and my mum stayed at home like the dutiful housewife but she was no soft touch with my dad, if he annoyed her or took advantage she let him have it.  My dad didn’t do much of the housework since he was working all day but he cooked at the weekends and he walked the dogs so that was fair enough.  My mum always brought me up to never be a maid for a man and to make sure all of the work in the house was divided.

 

Life in my home now is quite different.  We both work full time, the same hours I may add but for some reason men of my hubby’s age seem to think that life owes them something.  Even though I work the same hours he still thinks I should do all the cleaning, cooking, washing and look after our dog (we only had 1 at the time).  The day he said that was the biggest mistake of his life.

 

After some time I got him into the way of housework, I don’t expect cleaning to a show home standard or anything but I do like things to be more or less tidy but I can happily live with a little mess.  This actually lasted just over 2 years but then we bought a house together and the housework began to dwindle.  He gradually did less and less but as soon as I noticed that’s when I began to do less and less for him.  I let his side of the bedroom get messy, his washing piled up and there was never anything around the house that he wanted.  I went on strike for more than 3 years and he learned his lesson and began to tidy.  Yes 3 years is a long time but he’s an adult and should be doing it for himself anyway.  You’re wondering how I kept it up for 3 years, I’m very stubborn and if I want to get my own way then I can be very patient.

 

I told the ladies in work what I was doing and all I got was sympathy for him. 

“Awe the poor guy”

“You’re very hard on him”

“That’s awful; my hubby would never do any house work”

Etc etc

 

Am I the only one that sees something exceptionally wrong with this picture?  How about we turn the tables.  What does he do for me?  Does he do the DIY? No.  Does he cut the grass? Very seldom.  Does he cook? Rarely.  Does he wash my car? Maybe once a year even though he promised to do it every weekend.  Why should I even do a single thing for him if he’s not prepared to do anything for me?

 

Since when do we look after men like they are children?  Are they not adults? Are they not capable of looking after themselves?  Are they so needy and useless?  No, they are just lazy and if someone will do all your work for you then why bother? 

 

I completely blame his mum and she accepts the blame too.  She did everything for him growing up and when he wouldn’t do something for her she told him not to worry and she would do it.  He never lifted a finger around the house.  He pretty much got lifted and laid.  Now I have to live with a lazy git that thinks women should be doing it all for him.

 

I am no domestic goddess and the thought of housework or being a housewife would depress the life out of me.  I like having a career, I like being out and about but a lot of men don’t like women having independence.  I never understand the woman that live like this and are unhappy with it.  Some women love it and that’s the way they want their life to be and fair play to them but it’s not for me.

 

Boys should be educated early in life in how to pick up after themselves and how to help out round the house.  My hubby is almost 30 and still can’t wash a butter knife after he uses it; he leaves the buttery knife on the worktop with all the crumbs from the bread.  He even got his mum to buy him a dishwasher one Christmas because he doesn’t like to do dishes.  He leaves socks lying about the house, there is a trail of clothes upstairs when he’s going for a shower, he can’t put his clothes in the wash basket but he can get pretty close, but the one thing that drives me bonkers is that he is unable to change a loo roll!!

 

I could go on and on bringing up house bills, mortgages, personal appointments but the list would be endless.  Who needs kids when you have a husband to raise?  Men seem to be incapable of doing most things these days due to laziness and it’s quite sad to see. 

 

Didn’t they use to be the ‘superior’ sex???

 

If I Knew Then What I Know Now........

Do you ever wonder to yourself that if you were still a teenager and you knew what you know now would you go back and do it all again? 

 

There has been many a night where I have pondered over this and thought of all the decisions I made that I could change.  All of those mistakes I made, all of the reckless things I did and all of the wrong people I trusted.  Then I think about school and how well I would have done if I knew everything I know now.  In fact I probably knew more academic information in school that I know now anyway, once you get out of the way of thinking about algebra and punctuation you can’t remember half of it anyway. 

 

So, would I go back and change it all?

 

Would you?

 

All the tough times I had, the good and bad friends, the life lessons, the loss of family and friends, the ups and downs, I don’t think I would trade it in.  All of these events led me to be the person I am today and I’m very comfortable being me.  I was lucky enough as a child not to get bullied because I could stand up for myself so no one bothered me; I’ve been pretty independent from a young age.  I learned early how to deal with loss and that you have to live life to the fullest. 

 

Don’t let anyone drag you down because it’s more than likely they are just jealous of your life. 

 

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something; if you want to do it then do it. 

 

Don’t follow the crowd, do what you want to do and be who you want to be no matter what anyone else thinks, everyone is different. 

 

Express your weirdness because it always entertains someone and it lets you explore your creative side. 

 

Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion, you never know how important it might end up being. 

 

Don’t get married and settle down too young, its more than likely that your wants and needs will change as you get older so be wary of that!

 

Don’t take life too seriously and let all the big things worry you, take it step by step and day by day.  As you get older the big worries become little ones and you’ll wonder why you wasted so much effort being worried in the first place.

 

Don’t get intimidated of people in high places, we all came into this world the same way and no one person is better than another.  Treat everyone as your equal and they will treat you the same.

 

Laugh!  Laugh as much as you can at life because if you don’t you will cry!

 

Most importantly, don’t just do these things because I’m telling you to either!!!

 

Let yourself go through the motions of life but don’t let that be all there is.  If someone had of told me all of this when I was young I might have turned out a little different, who knows?  One thing my parents always told me when I went to do anything in life was ‘Just do your best, that’s all you can do’.  That’s words of wisdom from the two biggest weirdo’s’ I know, but they are the best.