Mesed Up Shark Dreams

When I was younger I used to have this reoccurring dream, I still have it from time to time as an adult too.  I come from a coastal town and I naturally as a child I used to swim at the beach despite how freezing our waters are.  I wasn’t the strongest of swimmers. Scratch that, I couldn’t swim until the age of 9 and I was taught how to by my big sister who threw me into the deep end of the pool when we were on holiday.

 

Before I was 9 we used to swim at the beach, there was a slip way which we used to jump off; this is where I almost drown.  The feeling of drowning is a terrible experience, it’s something you never forget, the feeling of the water shooting up your nose and the panic in your heart when you realise you’re not able to get to the surface to take a breath. 

 

I’ve never liked the water, not for the fact that it almost consumed me but for the sheer reason that I don’t know whets down there.......or I do know whets down there more to the point.  With changing climates and animals being able to adapt to their surroundings more and more ‘dangerous’ aquatic wildlife make their way to our shores.

 

Anyway, not many of them appeared here in the 90’s which made my dream completely impossible.  The dream began like a normal summer’s day heading down to the slipway to go for a swim or in my case a ‘fake’ swim.  It all of a sudden got darker and when I looked down towards the slip there was a very evil looking hybrid killer whale / shark creature in the shallow water looking up at me with its beady eyes and had its mouth open as if it was grinning at me. The look on its face was so disturbing that I still remember every detail of it.

 

The dream was relatively short; I never went down to the water to approach it because even in my dreams I’m not that stupid.  I do believe this dream led to my fear of shards 11+ years later (I take my time with these things).  I used to love Jaws as a kid and Deep Blue Sea but when I hit about 20 or so I started to develop a fear of them.  I had this dream all through my teen years, what it means I don’t know. 

 

One day I was watching a documentary about sharks with my dad and all of a sudden I felt my heart go when I seen one come up on the screen.  I think it was the first time I had ever looked into their eyes and remembered my dream.  An odd one.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now........

Do you ever wonder to yourself that if you were still a teenager and you knew what you know now would you go back and do it all again? 

 

There has been many a night where I have pondered over this and thought of all the decisions I made that I could change.  All of those mistakes I made, all of the reckless things I did and all of the wrong people I trusted.  Then I think about school and how well I would have done if I knew everything I know now.  In fact I probably knew more academic information in school that I know now anyway, once you get out of the way of thinking about algebra and punctuation you can’t remember half of it anyway. 

 

So, would I go back and change it all?

 

Would you?

 

All the tough times I had, the good and bad friends, the life lessons, the loss of family and friends, the ups and downs, I don’t think I would trade it in.  All of these events led me to be the person I am today and I’m very comfortable being me.  I was lucky enough as a child not to get bullied because I could stand up for myself so no one bothered me; I’ve been pretty independent from a young age.  I learned early how to deal with loss and that you have to live life to the fullest. 

 

Don’t let anyone drag you down because it’s more than likely they are just jealous of your life. 

 

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something; if you want to do it then do it. 

 

Don’t follow the crowd, do what you want to do and be who you want to be no matter what anyone else thinks, everyone is different. 

 

Express your weirdness because it always entertains someone and it lets you explore your creative side. 

 

Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion, you never know how important it might end up being. 

 

Don’t get married and settle down too young, its more than likely that your wants and needs will change as you get older so be wary of that!

 

Don’t take life too seriously and let all the big things worry you, take it step by step and day by day.  As you get older the big worries become little ones and you’ll wonder why you wasted so much effort being worried in the first place.

 

Don’t get intimidated of people in high places, we all came into this world the same way and no one person is better than another.  Treat everyone as your equal and they will treat you the same.

 

Laugh!  Laugh as much as you can at life because if you don’t you will cry!

 

Most importantly, don’t just do these things because I’m telling you to either!!!

 

Let yourself go through the motions of life but don’t let that be all there is.  If someone had of told me all of this when I was young I might have turned out a little different, who knows?  One thing my parents always told me when I went to do anything in life was ‘Just do your best, that’s all you can do’.  That’s words of wisdom from the two biggest weirdo’s’ I know, but they are the best.