Friday 21 August 2015

Clumsy Ginger Theory (21 August 2015)


I call this a theory but I should just call it fact, I have witnessed so much of this that it has to be fact.

 

Gingers are clumsy!  How do I know....well......

 

My mum is a red head.  Her ginger clumsiness started to affect me while I was still in the womb.  My mum is 5ft 1 and she did nothing but eat and eat when she was pregnant with me (he fault completely of course) so I grew to be huge in there.  I became so big that she got a little unsteady on her feet and she fell.  For me as a witness this started a long line of clumsy things that my mum has done from falling all the time to continuously dropping things.  Not enough evidence you say?

 

Next we have my friend; we have been friends from our young school days so this is a good 20 years now.  She has a lot of trouble staying off the ground, her ankles must be like glass now because she is constantly going over on them and falling.  There are too many funny ones to tell of here, I would need to dedicate a whole section to her (which I just might because her falls are way too funny).

 

Another one on the ginger list is my mother in law.  This woman cannot stay on her feet either, everywhere we go she either falls or falls into me to break her fall.  One instance was I left her off at her house after a day out and I looked in my mirror as I drove off and she had walked up 2 steps that lead to her house but it seems she couldn’t tackle them because when I looked she was sprawled flat on her face on the steps.  Did I stop and go back and help her? No I did not, she is a professional faller, and she knows more about this stuff than I do.


 

Last but not least is me, now I’m not a redhead but I seem to have inherited a few traits from my mum.  I got some freckles and light colouring so I’m blaming her for that.  I’m not really a faller but I’m a dropper.  I can’t carry much at any one time, people sending me to the bar for a round is like my biggest fear because I know it’s gonna end up disastrous.  I just usually send someone up with some money so that I don’t have to do it.

 

So as far as my evidence goes it’s pretty much a given that gingers are clumsy or even people that are unfortunate enough to have the ginger gene.

 

Am I wrong?

 

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