Friday 21 August 2015

What Comes First? The Dog or the Kid? (21 August 2015)


As I have discussed before, I don’t have kids and I have no urge yet in my life to have them.  I’m a 32 year big child that just loves her doggies (is it bad that I almost wrote dogging there? HAHA). 

 

I’m always ask (I think they do it to annoy me) that IF I have a child what I’m going to do with my dog?  Now I don’t know what planet these people live on but to me my dog is like my child.  I do everything with him, feed him, walk him, play with him and tuck him in a night.  I’m not one of those over the top ones that dresses him up; he’s so big my clothes would fit him for goodness sake.  I did dress up my old boxer one year for Halloween and put a few hoodies on her but she loved it.

 

Anyway back to the story.  After much questioning of ‘What do you mean? What would I do with him?’.  He wouldn’t be treated any differently; he was there first so nothing would change for him.  So once we moved passed that part the next question they ask is ‘What would you do if the dog didn’t like the baby, would you make him live outside or put him in a cage?’

 

You can guess my answer ‘Fuck No!’

 

The next part of the answer is always my favourite because the expression on some people’s faces is just far too funny (this is a joke by the way; I’m not that much of a hard nut).

 

Would I put the dog in a cage? ‘No!  If the baby and the dog didn’t get on then the baby and its mosses basket can go into a cage in the kitchen’.  After the horror comes over their face I continue.  ‘That will be handy too because if the baby cries then I can just cover the cage up with a blanket just like my sister does with her parrot when he gets really noisy’. 

 

People in work have now realised that I’m joking when I say these things and they laugh, but the first few times of giving my answer had them questioning my mentality for a while I think.  You could see the wheels turning in their heads trying to figure it all out.  Little amuses the innocent!

 

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